CONVERSATION #4
topic: Cook Out
One of our many messy conversations about race
Kerra breaks down the 'cook out.'
A.J.
I laughed with joy and surprise when you called me (in an email) your white chocolate brotha ☺
Kerra
I wanted to make sure you felt welcomed. And if you’re very lucky, you might get an invitation to the 'cookout.' Among African Americans, the cookout is the most joyful expression of the gathering of our friends and families, in addition to holiday get-togethers. An invitation to the cookout basically means, you’re in the tribe. You just can’t work the grill.
A.J.
Can't wait ☺
Kerra
You can't wait to....
A.J.
Be a fully vested member ☺ Or partly vested. Associate member. Something
Kerra
You were in when you got your black card. When some asks about your street cred, you can pull it out.
A.J.
I'd love to do that. Just to see their faces.
Kerra
Me too! They wouldn't expect that.
A.J.
Deal. Speaking of which, I need to get that card laminated.
Kerra
Card or no card. just remember, you just can't work the grill. SOMEDAY you might be able to work the grill, but we can't start you there.
A.J.
Understood. What's a step up from the grill? Working the sound system?
Kerra
Nooo...the grill is the highest honor. Even I can't work the grill. I'm in charge of the Soul Train line, obvi.
Better than a safety pin.
A.J.
Ha. Indeed.
Kerra
Here’s the breakdown:
First you get an invite to the cookout. That just means you're cool enough to hang out with black people as friends.
When you start getting things to do like make the potato salad, make sure Kelvin Jr. doesn't hit himself in the head with the basketball, play dice with the old dudes, gossip with the aunties, lead the Soul Train line...that means you're completely in the fam and we found something for you to do based on your skills and abilities.
So you're invited to the cookout and we put you on the potato salad to see if you can hang. The highest honor is to work the grill. My dad is a grill master. This honor is normally reserved for old black aunties and dudes who have been through some shit. We occasionally let white dudes get in on the grill, but that's a special honor.
A.J.
That's very cool. Deep community. I like that. Speaking of which…
Kerra
I know. You gotta cook.